Fantasy

I used to dream of the day Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet and we would instantly fall in love.
I used to dream of villains that would capture me and I could show my strength through escaping.
I used to dream of a fairy godmother that would make me into a princess
I used to dream of my animal friends that would support me in the dark ages and the happily ever after moments.
I used to dream of magic all once upon a time.
But there are no Prince Charming
No villains
Or fairy godmothers
There is no talking animal friends
Or magic.
There is just reality.
But reality isn't all that bad.
There aren't prince charmings, but their are gentlemen who treat you well and respect you.
There is no love at first sight, but their is hard love that takes time and patience but is truer than anything.
Their is no villains to capture you so you my escape and show your strength, but there is bullies and rude people, that you must stand up to and revive battle scars from.
There is no fairy godmothers, but their are loving parents who teach and grow their little princess it to beautiful queens.
There are no talking animal friends, but there are best friends who stick by you through the dark and light times.
There is no happily ever after, but there is your outlook on life and that if positive can be your own sort of happily ever after.
But their is magic in both fantasy and reality it is what ties the two together. Magic can show itself in so many different ways. So you see we don't need to live a fantasy to be happy, reality is just as beautiful of a fairytale, in such a different way.

Nightmare?

      The green stained grass brushed gently against my legs. I looked out into the ocean of flowers that had an abyss of colors. I took off into to the sea of hues, wading  my way through the thousands of yellow Suns. All the colors reflected into my eyes painting a rainbow in my brain. As I waded deeper into the sea of flowers I began to see shades. The flowers had become darker and darker until they were the color of ash and coal. They no longer were big in bloom, open like umbrellas to the sky, but instead they were crippled laying burnt in the center of the garden. I gasped staring in awe at the dead decaying flowers, the ones that tried so hard to hang on to something, anything that would keep them alive. I cried, for how could something so beautiful have a center of cold death. I sat their in the darkness of a center crying until the garden was burnt into dust and was blown away with the wind. Now I stand in the middle of the desert where the sea of flowers once lay and I to was blown in to the wind and turned to dust.
         I woke to my dream confused by the strangeness of it. It had such a strong meaning to it. So deep it was impossible to ignore it, impossible to stop it from sinking into my heart. I blinked several times trying to focus my eyes so I could see, but my brain was in a knot and my head was in a vacuum that sucked out my thoughts. I couldn't stop shaking, what did it mean what did that nightmare of thought mean, and why did it sink so deeply into my heart. I shook my head as if trying to shake the memory to the back of my mind so it may disappear. I couldn't stand it for nights I had had dreams that made imprints in my soul and this one had truly made a cut so deep that it would leave a scar in my heart. I laid my head back onto my pillow letting myself sink deep into the pillow, into a moment of peace. I closed my eyes shutting the world out of my sight and placing myself back into my own little world that was inside myself.
         My mind began to stir again creating watercolor painting into the reality I want, no need. Again I found my self outside. The clouds were gone leaving empty space that enclosed the earth like a dome. It was clear blue domain that covered  the world, but it seemed to stretch out farther in to eternity. I came to a small body of water, so clear I could see every detail of my completion shining back into my eyes. It was so still and glossy as the sun reflected gently off of it, I couldn't resist getting closer to the silvery pond, slowly I was drawn closer and closer to the water. I bent down by the water trying to see beyond the glassy surface, beyond the Peary glass liquid, but I couldn't see past its appearance.  I couldn't look past the beauty of the clear liquid glass. I  reached into the water letting it conceal my hand. It was icy and cold, freezing my hand through and through until my body felt of ice. It shot bolts of pain through me, sending chills up through my spine, killing me slowly until it got to my heart and I would lay dead in the pool of death. I wanted to take my hand out of the water but it had gone in to deep, and I couldn't get out of it. I slowly was dragged  down under the surface, plunging into icy depths of blackness, being emerged into a pool of black icy cold death.
      I woke up in a pool of cool sweat. I was breathing heavily gasping for breath. I was shaking all over, my body trembled in terror and my heart was ready to thump out of my chest. I wanted to run and hide somewhere safe but I couldn't move my legs. I was ready to run but I knew being 24 I was to old to be frightened yet I was. I calmed my breathing and slowly looked around the room trying to calm myself. I couldn't help but shake my nerves were on panic and my body was dead and icy cold I couldn't move I was overtook by fear, but slowly breath after breath I remained in a state of peace and once again fell into the clutches of exhaust. For there was nothing to fear, it was only a dream.... wasn't it?
   
   

Change of soul

     My friend was being teared open, ripped apart, limb by limb with each telling of others perfections. A pretty girl passes my friend and boast of her hair so shiny and flawless and with that my friend looked at her own hair thinking that's not good enough. And she dyed it trying  to mimic the other girls gorgeous blonde hair, but horribly failed by turning her dark brown hair into a hideous shade of yellow and brown . Another girl walked by she was skinny as a stick and she went on and on of her advantages of being skinny. My friend looked at her self saying I'm not thin enough. And with that she spent her days eating gross weight loss drinks and exercising daily for hours. She would always be exhausted and feeling sick, but she got super thin because of it. A friend then walked by bragging of her eyes so blue and fresh and fine. My friend then looked at her dark brown eyes and said they are not enough. So she got blue contacts so shiny and fine but they were hard to wear and she almost seemed more blind. A gal bragged of her style so dark and immodest to me. I thought it was hideous too much was showing. But the bragging had sunk into my friend and with that she looked at her own wardrobe and it said it was not enough. So she bought clothes that showed to much, that were dark and attracted the wrong type of crowd.  Soon a girl with piercings everywhere ramble on to my friend about how pretty her piercings  were. And my friend looked at her earring-less self and said I'm not sparkly enough.  With that she pierced every inch of her body no matter how painful it was or how it looked she just needed to have piercings to fill a sense of acceptance.  A old friend walks by bragging of her sparkling personality and how her ways of flirting make everyone adore her. My friend looked at her humorous personality and said I'm not flirtatious enough. And with that she talked to everyone, and rude gossip was spread from her mouth so she would be the most adored and others would be flawed. Soon I began to take a step back from  my friend. I finally got a good look at what she had become and it was hideous. Her hair was stained a green- blonde shade, that was not appealing to the eye. Her body was too thin and she looked like a walking stick. Her eyes were too blue and complimented none of her  features, and blinded her from seeing what she had become.  Her dark wardrobe had become haunting and gave a very dark message. Her piercing were odd and almost to much. Her personality had become selfish, shallow and dark. I screamed for my friend, the sweet and kind soul I knew and loved to come out of this monster, to come out of the darkness. But jealousy had gripped her and became her. Now because of others bragging she felt worthless, causing jealousy to take hold and remake her. And now she has become something dark rather than being her own beautiful self. From that day forward I made a vow that bragging is bad and very shallow cause it hurts the good and shoots them down and makes them rise painfully off the ground. Turning them into something else rather than their own beautiful self.

The beauty of people

A wall I put in my mind
Hiding myself away from change
Away from  tragedy
And horrid horrors
Blocking out anger
And heartache
Love even
I pull a blind on my eyes
I keep them shut to block out images
Of fears
Loves
And many hopes
I conceal my most inner self
The person I am
So I won't get flawed
Burned
Corrected
Regretted
Forgotten
I hide myself from the world
So no one will hurt me
Or get me to close
I won't let them get to me
But one day I took down my blinds
And I saw magic in the air
I saw fireflies in the skies
I saw laughter in the moment
I saw beautiful tragedy happen
So I then I removed the wall in my mind
And I I learned love
As well as heartache
I learned tragedy and how it worked
I learned the wonders of friendship
And horrors ways of hurt
I opened up my inner most self
And learned who I was
I found my personality
And friendship
And love
I learned my anger
And all its pain
I felt the crazy in me
The insane
I learned who I was
And myself I could read
Finally I knew me
The world called me out of were I hid
And everything was beautiful
The air was soft with song
The world was filled with inspired voices
The hearts were filled with love
There were wrong and right choices
The people were so complex and some would hold you close
So warm the feeling of love
The fun horror of ghost
The rain was cold and wet
And a loving heart kept us warm
Tragedy killed hearts so fragile weak so frail
But knowledge was  now there
Making the broken hearted stronger
Yes the world is not perfect
And it has many flaws
But it is definitely worth it
With all adventures and awes

Nightmare

    A small soul sat weeping in the corner,Tears streaming down her face which  gently glided over her mascara stained cheeks. Her eyes where glossy and filled with fears, and her body was trembling uncontrollably, every nerve became paralyzed with fear. I will myself to stay in the shadows  for I couldn't show her it was I who caused her this pain. I sat for hours watching her as she jerked at every sound and was alarmed by every movement. I shouldn't have scared her so badly. Though I had too or I would be killed. I sat still starring at her for another hour, then I began to leave. I heard her voice call out fearfully saying," Who are you and why have you been watching me." I didn't turn around I couldn't, she would be scared if she saw my face. The women again spoke this time a little more demanding," Who are you and why have you been watching me." I had to turn  I had to let her see me or else she would give my kind away to the police. I slowly began to turn until our eyes locked. I could see  myself in her glassy eyes and I watched an my figure became her fears. "You were in my nightmares." She squeaked out. I took in her words slowly letting them sink into my mind, trying to find an answer for her. Finally I spoke," No ma'm I was not in your nightmare, I was the nightmare. And with that I had to leave. I sunk back into the shadows emerging myself into darkness processing what I had said. I had told her the truth I was a nightmare, literally. I wasn't a disabled dream or a scary thought at sleep, I was a nightmare and that is what I would always be.

Simple love

Stomach churns
Then Red face
Head twists and turns
Heart starts to race
Eyes lock
Fear in each
Other's eyes mock
While ours reach
Deep into his soul
Look I do
Ready to pay the toll
If this love is not true
But I see a heart
With a special place
That is my part
With a loving pace
Warmth comes over me
I'm reassured
Love comes quietly
So firm so sure
He sees too
His special place
And we continue this loving pace
Are eyes stayed still
And we talked and talked
Though no words came out
And our mouth were locked
But our hearts chatted on
Bringing smiles to our face
Singing their loving song
At their own loving pace

The price of Greed

A girl was humble and sweet
She shared all that she had
She only did give not receive
And she only  did help
For she had no greed
But a man persuaded her that she
Should want  more and more
And his advice sunk in
And she took and received
Soon boast she did
And tart was she
For she was over come with greed
It sunk into her heart
Consuming it up
In sunk into eyes
Showing her stuff
And as she received
There became more greed
She shared nothing
Not a single crumb
She cared for absolutely no one
She killed for objects
So precocious so fine
And greed than took hold of her mind
She grew ugly and cold
And her eyes did slit
And they locked her way for it
And trapped in a dungeon did she stay
Until the greed would disappear one day.